THE NEW FASHION CRAZE: SEXY OR SLUTTY? IS THIS THE NEW SENSUAL CALLING CARD FOR ONE NIGHT STANDS? BETTER THAN A COME HITHER LOOK, WHALE TAILS EXPOSE A WOMAN'S TRUE DESIRE. THE THONG OR G-STRING, ONCE A SURPRISE FOR HORNY MEN INVITED TO A LADY'S BOUDOIR, IS NOW CELEBRATED PUBLICLY, GIVING MEN THE, AHEM, HEADS UP! MORE VISIBLE THAN PHEROMES, WOMEN ARE SIGNALING LOUD AND CLEAR; AND,RATHER PUBLICLY! FOR YOUR OGLING AND GOGGLING PLEASURE, SEE THEM - THOSE DELIGHTFUL CELEBRITY WHALE TAIL ASSES! DID WE MENTION WE'VE GOT PICS?

By definition, let us clarify: whale tail n. the appearance of thong or g-string underwear above the waistband of pants, shorts, or a skirt. For thousands of years, the male species' has followed the grand tradition of women watching, much like nature freaks seek out birds and fish. The female body is the frequent subject of conversation; and everywhere men are found, discussing the ways and means to penetrate and catch a glimpse of what lies beneath the outer clothing of women. Enter the WHALE TAIL - The impact on society, fashion, and culture has created a wave of tail ends, notably the previously clothed and covered ass of a woman. Better than pheromes, certainly more visible, women everywhere are showing off their attributes in a rather unique statement, visibly drawing your eye to a rather erotic portion of their luscious female form. Shall we remind you there are visuals? New words and phrases crop up every year, coined by the clever, spread throughout the universe, and adopted into the vernacular of language. In this case, celebrities, attention craving creatures that they are, have taken the expression, whale tail, to a new level, making whale tail a photo opportunity at every opportunity. From the red carpet to the mall, whale tail watchers are clicking away with cameras, trying to catch the most magnificent, the best of the bottoms, and the celebrities are making the most of it. By the way, there are images. Maybe it's not too much to say that magazines and newspapers are -- or should be -- incubators for the birthing of language shifts and changes: They are immediate reflections of peoples and places, and not all people are the same, not all places are the same, nor is language the same from people to place. Brandished by the fabulous Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central, "truthiness'' was voted Word of the Year. It is "the quality of stating concepts or facts one wishes or believes to be true, rather than concepts or facts known to be true." A prescient choice, I think, given the current swirl of controversy around the veracity of James Frey's best-selling and now questioned "memoir," A Million Little Pieces. Also an appropriate choice given today's political climate. "Podcast" -- a digital feed for portable MP3 players -- was voted Most Useful. (Recently, when I talked to a group of folks and they said they were going to podcast me, my first thought was "ouch.") "Whale tail," the portion of thong panties that peeps over the tops of jeans or shorts, was Most Creative. New words? New styles! While most people think a guy's boxers should be hidden away and never seen, everyone believes in the new body language of an exposed thong or G-String, especially when the lady bends over, squats, or makes a movement designed to show off her delicate undergarment. There is nothing delicate about the message she's sending, however; from leather to diamonds, the world has begun to look from breast to ass, hoping to catch a glimpse of the tell-tale whale tail. Celebs have been struttin' their stuff up and down the red carpet. Famous faces and exposed titties thrill the senses. Now there's something else to look at - famous asses. Just to name a few: (We DO have pics!) -Adriana Lima -Amanda Bynes -Ashlee Simpson -Avril Lavigne -Britney Spears -Cameron Diaz -Carmen Electra -Cate Blanchet -Christina Aguilera -Cindy Crawford -Eva Longoria -Gabby Logan -Hilary Duff -Jennifer Garner -Jennifer Lopez -Jessica Alba -Jessica Simpson -Kate Beckinsale -Kelly Osbourne -Kirsten Dunst -Lindsay Lohan -Mary Kate Olsen -Michelle Branch -Mischa Barton -Natalie Portman -Pamela Anderson -Paris Hilton -Penelope Cruz -Pink -Salma Hayek -Serena Williams -Tara Reid -Uma Thurman -Victoria Beckham

You don't think we'd just name names now and tease you like this, do you? We've got the pics, showing gorgeous and luscious star quality whale tails. Bedecked and bejewelled, since the ladies show them, it is your right...nay, your obligation to view each and every lovely piece of exposed touchable skin! Women have been wearing G-strings and thongs for many decades. Now, the visual is right in front, or shall we say, back. Lowrise jeans and high cut thongs create a heavenly environment for extremely great WHALE TAILS, exposing the most beautiful and magnificent part of a body, that, heretofore, was hidden and left to the imagination. Not anymore! Ass cracks abound everywhere and we've got the most deliciously delectable ass cracks, displayed by the most beautiful women in the world!

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