Of all the movies ever filmed, we've compiled a list of ten that will capture your interest in ways you never imagined. Not to worry. You'll see plenty of nekkid sex goddesses with gobs of sex, sex, and more sex...perhaps the plots leave a little bit to be desired, but who cares? You'll be able to bust your nut on what you see and share with your friends. These scenes are as good as it gets, whether you have a bit of a giggle or you cream all over your monitor. Either way, have your tissues ready, as we run down the best of the worst:
- SHOWGIRLS: Released in 1995, Showgirls starred former teen actress, Elizabeth Berkley. She's a drifter who wanders into Las Vegas and 'climbs' the social ladder from stripper to showgirl. Significant controversy and hype about the movie's seemingly gratuitous amounts of sex and nudity preceded the movie's release. Its tagline -- 'Leave your inhibitions at the door. The show is about to begin', seemed appropriate for its time and was rated for 'nudity and erotic sexuality and graphic language and sexual violence'. Well, it's got all that and more. Wait until you see the look on Kyle MacLachlan's face, as Nomi, played by Elizabeth Berkley, falls into HIS lap. He's fully clothed and she's fully nekkid. We're betting he's got a huge woody under his suit as she gives him her Grade C lap dance. The movie is frought with sexual triangles, plots and subplots and a whole bunch of lesbian love fests and interracial sex scenes. Winning six Golden Raspberry Awards, we believe Showgirls rises to the claim that it was NOT an art film, as the director believed it to be. After watching this flick, we think it slid into porn right after the opening credits. Interestingly, it HAS achieved cult status and is still seen at 'midnight madness' theatres. It is heralded as one of the best 'good-bad movies' of all time. The lesbian tongue licking makes this movie worthy of being on our list and we know you're going to love each and every scene we've got. We did mention we've got them all, didn't we?
- DAMAGE: Also known as Fatale. Released in 1992, here's the tagline, very apt for the title. 'With love comes risk. With obsession comes....Damage'. With a tagline such as that one, we would expect to see intrigue and sexual madness. What we get is this plot line -- A member of Parliament (Irons) falls passionately in love with his son's fiancée. They pursue their affair with obsessive abandon despite the dangers of discovery and what it would do to his complacent life and his son. Completely obsessed, he wants to give up his current lifestyle to be with her. She has no intention of allowing him to do this, preferring to have her marriage to the son as a cover. They are eventually discovered, and must deal with the damage. Based on the novel by Josephine Hart. Miranda Richardson was nominated for an Academy Award and won a BAFTA in the category of Best Supporting Actress for her performance as the aggrieved wife of the film's main character. Probably the film's most famous and riveting scene comes near the end where Richardson, upon learning of her husband's affair, verbally annihilates her husband in the kitchen after he is brought home by the police.
There's one scene, in particular, that deserves some attention. Jeremy Irons and Miranda Richardson are naked and on the floor. Watching them go at it is akin to watching Kama Sutra gone crazy. Some of the positions they manage to get into are gymnastically challenging; but, oh so fun to see. When they are caught by the son, the look on Miranda's face is simply priceless. Jeremy is still going at it and she's looking like a deer caught in headlights. You're gonna love this movie. So will your friends. You can download them to your computer and keep the scenes forever.
- KILLING ME SOFTLY: Starring Heather Graham and Joseph Fiennes and released in 2002, this best of the worst film. The non-letterboxed DVD turns a previously topless scene full-frontal. Heather mounts her man on the floor, with her glorious breasts bouncing free from her bra and a muff-tastic taste of her Graham-cracker now fully visible. There's enough tits and ass in this movie to fully get you aroused and 'off'. There's plenty of ass-bouncing as The handsome leading man, Fiennes, applies the Michael Hutchence to Heather's neck, then bangs her on the floor, against the wall, around the room -- well, you get the picture...believe us, you'll get the full picture when you download these explicitly charged scenes to your computer. Fully deserving its 'R' rating, you'll be decidedly full after watching this feast of sexual delights.
- BODY OF EVIDENCE: It's a bomb; but, such a bomb, worthy of your attention and ours. Even Madonna — who, at this point, didn't need any more publicity, money or nude scenes — made a grievous mistake with this supposedly hot thriller. We had our fill with her poorly received photo book Sex where Madonna is coupled naked alongside S&M clad lesbians, a dog, and Vanilla Ice. She plays Rebecca Carlson, a Portland art dealer who likes to date older men with bad hearts. She also likes to have sex (lots of sex), and she prefers to have total control — particularly when she's strapping men to bed-posts (ooohhh... so deviant!). But one of the rich men dies and a videotape is found. And Rebecca, who gets the booty of his will, is accused of literally screwing him to death. A most marvelous mammarific manifestation is a must see when Madonna lays topless on a bed while Willem Dafoe makes his move on her. She's completely naked, riding atop Dafoe like he's the pop charts! There's a sheer curtain in the way, but her full-frontal flashing is nice! A glimpse at Madonna's trimmed-up pussy as she stands on top of a car in a parking garage. Willem Dafoe helps her out of her panties and proceeds to bury his face in her box... Wow! Yet another wonderful look at Madonna's quite impressive Twin Torpedoes while she reclines before a fireplace in an open robe and pets her pussy. Dafoe, as usual, can't help but hop on top. You'll see, as we did, there's plenty of sex, plenty of action. Forget the plot, forget the dialogue....all you need to do is sit back and excite yourselves. Download the hot sex. Have a party with your friends. The action in this flick won't disappoint!
- CRIMES OF PASSION: What do we care about performance? Kathleen Turner is a hot chick in this badly made movie, released in 1984. She doesn't need to say anything; just watching her blow job mouth should be enough for any red-blooded male. Just for giggles, though, here's a brief synopsis of the plot:
A sportswear designer leads a double life as a hooker named China Blue (Kathleen Turner). One of her clients, a divorced man, decides he loves her and figures out who she is. He then begins wooing her, which she fights against since he was a client. Meanwhile a street preacher works the red light district trying to save souls. He decides to save China's immortal soul and begins hounding her. Eventually he gets out of hand and the man in love with her must try to help her. This was pretty hot stuff when the movie was released. 1984 wasn't exactly the year of explicit sexuality; yet, Director Ken Russell splendidly captures the gorgeous seediness of illicit sex (or rather, what our fantasies may think of illicit sex) while also revealing its depraved aspects with skanky, cellulite-prone strippers undulating in creepy peep shows that look like prison cells. This film is obviously about sexual obsession, but since it's by Russell, it's also about how a dirty old guy can get his rocks off. Close-ups of Kathleen Turner's nipples certainly help -- and you can be guaranteed there are plenty of those kinds of shots, particularly in the unrated version. You'll have gyrating jugs and peepshow shuffles, with breasts and bum visible while the men watch. Can you say Blow-up-doll? Yep. There's one to be seen in a rather disturbing scene that you shouldn't miss. You can download all of it. We wouldn't kid about a thing like blow-up-dolls and downloading to your computer for your own private peepshow. Do it and have fun!
- THE SPECIALIST: We all know Sharon Stone is a goddess of sensuality; and she doesn't disappoint in this bad-good movie, with co star Sly Stallone. 1994 was a terrible-great year for flicks like this one and it's bad to the bone, which means it's good enough to make our list of ten best of the worst sex scenes! Here's the plot line, such as it is. Stallone plays Ray Quick, an ex-bomb specialist who works for hire. After the movie's requisite prologue, he's in Miami working for May Munro (Sharon Stone), who wants him to kill three mobsters, especially the head mobster's son, Tomas (Eric Roberts), because they murdered her parents when she was a little girl. Quick contacts her only by phone, they are to never meet, but he's admittedly intrigued by her and vice versa. However, she's actually working for Ned Trent (James Woods), Quick's former colleague who's out for revenge. But we know you're not interested in the plot. You just want to see Sharon Stone naked and undulating those gorgeous hips, tits and tushy. Watch closely and you'll even see a touch of her muff, during the steamy, long shower scene with the Italian Stallion. This is certainly one that makes our list. We're sure it will make your list, too.
- GIGLI: You'd think nothing could go wrong with these two lookers, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. Produced in 2003, who wouldn't want a view of the ample ass of J-Lo. With Ben as a co-star, one would think this movie would have made the top ten! Well, it did; but, not in the way we imagined. It's part of OUR top ten best of the worst and here's why. We all love J-Lo's plump rump. She's the celebrity with the most awesome bubble butt and who wouldn't want to see her naked and undulating with the gorgeous hunk Ben Affleck? We'd all love to see Ms. Lopez' vagina, in all its Latina glory, buried in Affleck's face. While he plays a totally unhinged mad man, there's no denying these two have chemistry on the silver screen and in the bedroom. What we've got is yours for the taking, so take it and have at it, with our blessing and encouragement!
- 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS: Nicole broke up with Matt months ago and is now engaged to someone else. He's very good-looking and has no trouble finding other lovers, but that doesn't help because he's still obsessed with wanting her back. Then he gets the inspiration that swearing off sex for Lent (all forms of sexual activity, even kissing or masturbation) will give him the perspective he needs. So of course a few days later he meets a woman and they fall in love. Now Matt sees his vow as a personal matter, and won't even tell her about it, but his friends think otherwise, and now the complications begin. Who gives up sex for Lent? And, more importantly, why? Josh Hartnett breaks up with his long-time girlfriend, screws everything in sight, figures that he's doing himself more harm than good and decides to give up sex for lent. All forms of sex are out of the question if Hartnett is to succeed in clearing his head: "No penetration, no masturbation, no kissing, no nibbling, no sucking." Hold on a minute. We wouldn't tease you like this. Take a guy who swears off sex and what do you get? Yep. You guessed it. Lots of sexy celebs trying to entice him into the bedroom or the floor or wherever an opportunity strikes. There is no better plot than one which involves schemes to get a guy into bed, especially an unwilling one. Surprisingly erotic, because when you come down to the nitty gritty, there's nothing finer than a sexy young thang enticing a celibate guy with her booty, tits and other gems. See what we've got with these bad-great movie clips. Trust us. There's plenty of tits and ass to enthrall you and your friends. Download. Share. Laugh and get turned on! We did! All that eye-candy! Emmanuelle Vaugier shows tons of tits in this sex scene with Josh Hartnett. And, that's just for starters!
- MATRIX RELOADED: With Keanna Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss, one would think sparks would fly. Released in 2003, we've got a super god, who should have super powers where it counts, you know what we mean? Enough to make a girl moan and groan with cosmic satisfaction. After all, he IS the chosen one, so any choice he makes should bring any woman to orgasm, multiple times. When Neo and Trinity act out their steamy sex scene, whoa! She's not such a stoic, after all. Underneath that cool exterior lies the heart and body of a real woman, with very real desires. Even though Trinity, the character, dies, we're pretty sure she dies with a smile on her face, having received a little sumptim' sumptim' from the ONE. There's a celebration going on, while Neo and Trinity do their love dance. Kind of like a rave, but very erotic, watch carefully to see the erotic, exotic dancing and sexuality displayed by the actors. It's enough to make a grown man cream his pants. And, you will, as you watch our clips, showing the best of the worst sex scenes in the history of mankind. Hey, anything naked will do for us, right?
- THE STUD: With a script co-written by Jackie Collins and a starring role for her sister Joan, this late 1970s British sex offering is as trashy as you'd expect. It doesn't disappoint in the least, even though the filme dates back to the seventies. In her heyday, Joan Collins was sultry, slutty, and always delivered when it came to turning men into beasts, sexual beasts, of course. Oliver Tobias is the titular totty, a shaggy-haired lothario called Tony whose job as the manager of a swanky discotheque is contingent on his ability to satisfy his nymphomaniac boss, the improbably named Fontaine Khaled (Collins), the bored wife of a wealthy businessman. Trouble soon comes in the form of Fontaine's nubile young stepdaughter, whose virginal charms grab Tony's attention. Not being very intelligent he confuses her flirtatious behaviour with love, when really she's playing a manipulative game to get back at Fontaine for cheating on her father. Imagine Joan Collins having sex in the elevator, as well as a champagne-soaked swimming pool orgy, where she swings naked on a trapeze. Her performance is totally unabashed, even though this celebrity was already in her forties when it was released. The best of our worst sex scenes makes the clips we've got for you both memorable and a complete journey into bad sex, good sex, naked nubile bodies, and absolutely must-watch sex.
When all is said and done, it doesn't matter whether the plot is Academy Award winning, as long as we can see the 'goodies'. After all, our priorities and interests lie not in what's said, but what's taken off and what's lying down...or sitting..or being boffed against the shower wall or any number of tantalising positions our stars get into. When we're watching pure, unadulatered sex, who cares about story lines? Give us the sex, we say! And, that's exactly what we've done. For you. For your friends. For everyone to enjoy, bust a nut, share, download and absolutely save forever to your hard drive!